avoidance

 

You lay awake until four in the morning
listening to Your wife
Your son
Your daughter
all snoring together
while Your breath comes fast
heaving
hurling
thoughts whirling through Your mind
at the speed of existential dread 

it is then
when the grey light of the dark hours
the orange fluorescence flickers from the streetlamps
mix and illumine the bedroom
from a crack in the blackout curtains
that You find the strength
to confront Your mortality 

it is not an easy battle
and You often lose
to the void of eternity stretching out
blank and yawning
hungry before You 

and You weep, yes,
You weep
for the children You will leave behind
the lovers and the loathed
sunrise in winter
and the oversweet taste of snow cream
the crisp winds of autumn
and their reek of fallen leaves
the humid days of summer
cicadas screaming
and the birthdays
the promise of spring
and its whispers of bounty to come 

what a cruel game
this life
to be given sentience
to go with Your death sentence 

how the days turn to weeks turn to years in a flash
and how suddenly
all of this will be gone from You
and You won’t even know it

 

 

Hear it on SoundCloud.

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